Lifestyle

Weighty problem can cool things down in the bedroom

Q My wife is the sexiest, most beautiful woman in the world to me.

Yes she has gained quite a bit of weight over the last few years and she keeps complaining that she no longer fits into her pretty dresses, but I honestly don't see anything but my wife's beauty, inside and out.

I am proud to be with her, and I desire her every day, still after over 15 years of marriage and three kids.

We still have an active sex life but she has admitted to me that she often has sex without being in the mood for it, just to make me happy.

Since she's told me that, I can't get it out of my mind and I no longer enjoy making love to her like I used to because I want us both to enjoy it and don't like the thought of her doing it just for me.

It's meant to be something we both share and love.

How can I get my wife to want to have sex with me again? I've tried everything - even buying her sexy red lingerie!

A Here's a tip: have you tried buying her black lingerie?

Or better yet, a gift certificate for her to choose her own special something that she is comfortable wearing and feels sexy and pretty in herself?

A little known fact from research is that red is the number one colour choice men prefer to see their female partner in, but black is the colour women choose to wear themselves when it comes to feeling sexiest.

A more well known fact is that poor body image can destroy libido.

If a woman doesn't feel sexy, it's hard for her to get in the mood for sex.

If she feels self-conscious about her body, she will listen to the negative self talk about how unattractive she tells herself she is (in her own mind, or out loud).

If she feels self-conscious in bed, she won't enjoy herself and will feel distracted and unhappy.

It's very hard for a woman to feel much emotional or sexual pleasure if she's focused on trying to cover cellulite or groaning inwardly when a belly roll is prominently on display.

That your wife continues to make love with you when she doesn't really want to shows her love for you and her commitment to the relationship.

So rather than feel badly, focus your attention on improving your wife's libido and supporting her in that quest, if she wants it.

If so, talk together about what kinds of things might make her feel sexier and more in the mood.

Is it more date time with you that is romantic but not sexual?

Is it alone pampering time?

Is it exercise and dieting to improve her energy levels and help her reconnect with her physical body to feel better about herself?

Is it hearing more positive praise from you about how beautiful you think she is?

 

>> To read more lifestyle stories

Topics:  dating, lifestyle, love, sex, weight, women



Father of Tweed club farewelled in touching service

The 'father' of Tweed Heads Seagulls Rugby League Club, Colin Hayes, was farewelled on Thursday.

Col Hayes remembered in tributes.

Surfer's shark tale: 'That's when it's come straight at me'

Pictured at Kingscliff this morning Rodney Clark has survived a Great White encounter.

"I lost sight of my son because a wave hit him"

Latest deals and offers

What's on the small screen this week

Keira Maguire and Richie Strahan in a scene from The Bachelor.

SEVEN gears up for the Rio Olympics while The Bachelor continues.

Drowning Pool gig review at Max Watt's

Drowning Pool played Brisbane with A Breach of Silence and She Cries Wolf at the Max Watt's House of Music.

Drowning Pool prove that 'bodies' hit the floor when they play

#SaveMarinaJoyce: How ISIS theory took over youtube channel

One young Youtuber accidentally gave rise to a conspiracy theory

Talking whiskey with Jack Daniel’s master distiller

It all comes down to the distillery

SIXTY MILES AHEAD sign with Eclipse Records, prepare new album 'Insanity'

Sixty Miles Ahead sign with Eclipse. Photo Contributed

Sixty Miles Ahead to release new album on Eclipse

Thy Art Is Murder are killing it

See Thy Art is Murder on their killer tour happening right now. Photo Contributed

We talk with Thy Art is Murder about touring, babies, and new music

Queensland's $1 town goes under the hammer today

The township of Yelarbon is up for sale.

Unprecedented auction of town's business centre with no reserve

Work starts on $15M Caloundra apartment building

Turning the first sod at the Aqua View Apartments site in Kings Beach are (from left) husband-and-wife developers Alex Yuan and Stella Sun with construction company Tomkins director Mike Tomkins and Councillor Tim Dwyer.

Developers excited about addition to Kings Beach skyline

Plans revealed for 1500-lot 'master-planned community'

Precinct will be bounded by Boundary St and Shoesmith Rd

Ecco Ripley sales run sparks prime release

MOVING IN: Sekisui House has announced the release of more residential blocks at Ecco Ripley.

Sekisui House is preparing to unveil more land at Ecco Ripley

Massive residential 9-storey high-rise hit by delays

An artist’s impression of the eight-storey-high apartment complex that Bernoth Holdings wants to build in South Toowoomba, next to the City Golf Club.

Developer struggles to get approved high-rise development started