Lifestyle

On behalf of all women, thanks Miranda Kerr - for nothing

Supermodel Miranda Kerr juggles motherhood and career
Supermodel Miranda Kerr juggles motherhood and career Contributed

ON BEHALF of the female population of the western world, I'd like to give a very big thanks to Miranda Kerr - for nothing.

It's hard enough convincing your hubby that, having carried an actual human being (and many donuts) inside your body for nine months, things don't just snap back into their original position when the baby arrives, without having the likes of supermodel Kerr legging it down the catwalk with everything bouncing in the right places mere months after giving birth to a 10-pound child.

My jaw dropped simultaneously with those across the world when Miranda strutted her stuff as a Victoria's Secret runway model 10 months after the birth of her son, Flynn, in November last year.

Columnist Amanda Coop.
Columnist Amanda Coop. Alistair Brightman

My own bub was only a couple of months old at the time and it's fair to say I was a tad envious of her post-baby figure (let's face it, I would have been a tad envious even if I hadn't just had a bub).

Now, if the Hollywood rumour mills are to be believed (and why wouldn't they be?) she's set to do it all over again - and make scores more of us lament our physical inadequacies.

Kerr has been spotted  wearing a "floaty" dress and emerging from a doctor's appointment (insert melodramatic gasp here) so I guess that's proof enough for all the magazines to run with the story.

I'm hoping Kerr herself and hubby Orlando Bloom would get something a little more concrete, such as a positive pregnancy test or an ultrasound, before sharing the news with their families.

It's hard to tell from the photos of her so-called "bump" whether she's really expecting, since it's still somewhat smaller than my "ate too much over the weekend" bump.

For the record, no magazines have run any photos of me in floaty dresses speculating that I might be about to unleash Coop Jr the Second upon the world (and just as bloody well, since I'm not and every woman knows the most embarrassing thing that can possibly ever happen to you is being mistaken for being up the duff when you're not).

No doubt if she is preggers we'll find out in due course and watch, seething, as she gains the approximate weight of the child, then drops the weight and flies off to Paris to do a bikini shoot all before the placenta has hit the medical waste bin.

I'm not saying Miranda should turn into a fat, stretch-marked blob just to make the rest of us feel better, but it would certainly help if she did.

What happened to the Aussie spirit of taking one for the team, Miranda?

Topics:  birth editors picks miranda kerr model motherhood mum



Police investigate armed robbery

Police are investigating an alleged armed robbery at a Tugun convenience store.

POLICE are investigating an armed robbery in Tugun

Under-16 Digger looks back on life well lived

Roy Crossley served as a gunner in the Second World War in the Pacific.

Enlistment was a relief to 14-year-old from Outback

Showing support for Tweed businesswomen

SUPPORTING CHARITY: Sonya Lee, Jenette Condon, Julie West, Belinda Dinsey, Sharon Styman and Katie Harley are planning the next Wisdom Embracing Youth luncheon.

Wisdom embraces youth at charity luncheon.

Local Partners

Mum upset after sister steals both her baby names

IT IS a truth universally acknowledged - it’s a major faux pas to steal a friend or family’s baby name. But this woman did it twice, to her sister.

What you need to know before you ditch carbs

Instead of ditching carbs, switch to wholegrain (brown rice, barley, buckwheat, quinoa, spelt or polenta), along with fruits, beans and vegetables.

Not all carbs are the same and understanding the difference is vital

Mum doesn't know she has given birth

Sarah has been in an induced coma since she gave birth on August 28. Source: Gofundme

Her son won't be named until she wakes from her coma

Dogs on beach - on leash - anywhere?

DOGGED ISSUE: Troy Dare and Sunny are happy with the dog beach access rules the way they are.

Teenager calling for 'ruff' justice

'My children are not a number': Rocky mum turns lives around

CHANGED FUTURES: Bailee Stjernqvist, Penny Martin, Kazzi Doyle and Nathan Baira. Penny has taken in several teenagers who have turned their lives around with her help and support.

These teens have made huge changes to their futures

Model says she couldn't find work here due to skin colour

Duckie Thot arrives at the BET Awards at the Microsoft Theater on Sunday, June 25, 2017, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP)

Her career took off after appearing on Australia's Next Top Model.

Family fumes after $250 fee to register 'dead' cat

REUNITED: Todd and Danielle Porteous thought their cat, Storm, was dead after going missing 3.5 years ago. They even made a memorial for him for their young son, Zephia.

Coast woman angry after copping fee for 'dead' cat