MAFS wife vanishes as couples implode


A Married At First Sight bride has smokebombed on her own marriage - dumping her husband and leaving town without a word in the dark of night while a different couple also shatters because of drunken behaviour and exposed hair extensions.

Monday night's episode is also rocked by an emergency intervention - not for the exposed hair extensions, though that response would be absolutely proportionate.

NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS: Listen to James Weir's podcast

JAMES WEIR RECAPS: Read all the MAFS recaps here

The experts rush in to deal with Amanda and Tash - partly because Tash keeps throwing around the word "triggered" but mainly because they can't see eye-to-eye on what amount of Vegemite is appropriate to have on a piece of toast.

"I don't trust people who have a thick layer of Vegemite. Savages," Tash death-stares her wife.

Honestly, this is actually triggering.
Honestly, this is actually triggering.

Tash literally hates everything her wife does. Amanda could politely offer her a glass of wine and Tash would roll her eyes. If Amanda sneezed or breathed too loudly, Tash would bristle and leave the room. The more Tash pushes Amanda away, the more Amanda forces herself on Tash.

"I feel attacked!" Tash screams when Amanda asks if she can look her in the eye.

"How the hell am I meant to manifest feelings of warmth, love and affection to someone when they're being that aggressive?"

It all becomes too overwhelming for Tash and she is forced to lock herself in the bathroom to cry on the toilet. It's a real low point.

No one wants to be seen crying on a toilet.
No one wants to be seen crying on a toilet.

"I really can't be around you right now," Tash sobs through the door. "I cannot think of anything that would make this worse than being in the same space right now. I don't think we should be anywhere near each other. I don't wanna be here right now. I just don't."

So she packs up her luggage and rolls on outta there into a separate apartment. And she's not the only one.

Poppy's also running away from her problems. But no matter how hard she tries, she can't escape her struggles or Lyle - which is the cute name we gave her persistent pimple.

"I guess I'm gonna have to change my attitude," she sulks on the first day of moving in with Luke. It's one thing to acknowledge the need to change your bad attitude. But it's another thing to actually do it. And that's coming from someone with a bad attitude.

Luke tries to cheer her up by cooking a fancy dinner that includes a red wine jus - and he even pronounces the word "jus" correctly. He's a bloody catch.

But Poppy just ignores him, turns the TV up and stays on the couch.

How I sleep at night knowing full well my bad attitude is hindering my life.
How I sleep at night knowing full well my bad attitude is hindering my life.

Elsewhere in the apartment building, all the other couples are relishing the "intimacy week" challenges and it's as lame as it sounds.

Connie's never had real drama in her life, so she's just excited to have the slightest bit of tension with her husband Jonethen over his iPhone usage. She pretends to be annoyed about his Instagram addiction and, really, she should be grateful. Do you know how many ladies would kill to be Jonethen's Instagram girlfriend? Following him around all weekend, taking photos of him at the beach and at the gym and filming Boomerangs of him making a smoothie. Show a bit of gratitude, Connie.

She confiscates Jonethen's phone and then he moans to us about her "un-satiable" need for attention. We don't even correct him because, really, what's the use?

We're bored, so we bust into Hayley and David's apartment to stir the pot and bring up the $25-an-hour argument again. But it's no use. They're calm and content. Boo.

They call each other "C U Next Tuesdays" and then high-five. It's the most romantic thing we've seen on this show and we leave immediately.

Hayley and David are the most solid couple right now and that’s saying something.
Hayley and David are the most solid couple right now and that’s saying something.

Back over at Amanda and Tash's, John Aiken is called in to mediate. Of course, we first have to lure Tash out of her hidey-hole like a little cat lurking behind the couch. We try dangling some string and making a "pst-pst-pst" sound but it's no use. But when we promise she can give John a face tattoo, she zips into the room in a flash.

Tash says a lot of buzz words that Millennials love to use in arguments like "triggered" and "attacked" and Amanda justifies her yelling by screaming "I'm just passionate!".

At no point do we reach a sensible resolution - John kinda just waits until they stop yelling and then concludes, "Welp, problem solved!". It's totally not, but we don't care enough to disagree.

If you stop crying we’ll let you give Trisha a sleeve tattoo.
If you stop crying we’ll let you give Trisha a sleeve tattoo.

Over at the Ice Cube King estate, Michael and Stacey are blissfully happy. She even lets him do her hair. Huge!

"I would never expose my extensions at the back but they're exposed," she laughs. Suddenly, she has gone from uptight and moody to easy breezy. This is what love does. It forces you to drop your guard and not care about the silly little things that seemed so important before.

Felt cute, will definitely delete later.
Felt cute, will definitely delete later.

Everything's great. Until Michael ditches Stacey again that night and goes out on the town to get wasted. Ah, finally, things are back on track.

"He comes home, he's being drunk, he's being obnoxious. He's being rude, he's being disrespectful towards me," Stacey fumes to us. "He said he was quite happy to leave last night and never speak to me again. So, I kicked him out. On the honeymoon the same sort of thing happened. That is it. He is done."

We give her a sympathetic look and pull her in for a hug before whispering some words of support in her ear.

"Your extensions are still exposed at the back," we sigh.

Back up at Poppy and Luke's joint, things are a mess. She spent the night in a separate apartment and, before dawn broke, decided to leave the experiment entirely without even telling her husband. She has smokebombed. And he is blime-fibe-eb.

Luke will obviously be heartbroken, so we push a camera crew into his apartment at 6am and tell him the news.

"Poppy has decided to leave the experiment. So you will obviously leave the experiment too," a blunt producer informs him.

He breaks down.

"I want a happy ending more than anything else. It's shit," he sobs, while we stand by and film him packing up his possessions.

We'll miss Poppy and Luke. But, even more, we'll miss Lyle.

For more observations on exposed hair extensions and being triggered, follow me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram: @hellojamesweir

Justice comes 12 years after $32,000 jewellery heist

Premium Content Justice comes 12 years after $32,000 jewellery heist

The man was identified several years after the offence through DNA

Neighbour ‘b****-slapped’ over COVID isolation

Premium Content Neighbour ‘b****-slapped’ over COVID isolation

Neighbour’s feud turns nasty during COVID 19 lockdown

Reality show would hurt  community on ‘life support’

Premium Content Reality show would hurt community on ‘life support’

Byron’s mayor has weighed in on concerns on new show