My cringe-worthy encounter with Meghan Markle
I don't know about you, but I'm up to pussy's bow with chatter about the royals. And hear I am throwing in my two cents.
I can't believe I'm saying this but gosh I miss the Kardashians … it was a simpler time when they dominated our news cycle with talk of sex tapes, lip kits and husbands (well, former husbands) losing their minds and running for president. And I'm not a monarchist or a republican. I'm not team Meghan or team Buckingham Palace. I'm kinda just team I-can't-really-be-bothered-hearing-about-it-anymore.
For sure, let's call out the monsters, the racists and the bigots. But my god do we need all the other noise that comes with it. From talk of bridesmaids' dresses to Piers Morgan storming off Good Morning Britain. From estranged members of the Markle family trying to cash in on the moment, to Princess Diana's former butler what's-his-face "suddenly" remembering another "world exclusive" story about the princess.
Take me back to the dull days of pop culture. Though, like so many, I am an avid viewer of The Crown. I've watched the latest season several times. Mostly for the brilliance of Gillian Anderson's incredible portrayal of Margaret Thatcher. But I'll make no secret of my selfish worry of what an implosion of the royal family could mean to one of my favourite TV shows. I need that family to stay together because I need that show to run, well, forever. Who's going to play Harry? Who's going to play Oprah? Who's going to play Gayle? Who's going to play Meghan? I guess the latter could play herself.
And like so many, I'm excited for the reign of young Prince George - son of William and Kate. He seems positively fabulous. I was lucky enough to meet Meghan Markle when she and Prince Harry came to Australia.
I was introduced to her but she misunderstood and thought I was a guest at her wedding when in fact I hosted the TV wedding coverage here in Australia. I don't remember you being there, she said. Because you didn't invite me, I said. It went rapidly downhill from there.
I have documented the story in my stand-up and it's very much an only-for-a-live-audience type story but I must say I could tell she was tired, and fair enough. She was pregnant at the time and being forced to meet D-grade Ellen DeGeneres lookalike comedians from Australia. I'm not firing up like Serena Williams or Piers Morgan. Rather I'm sitting firmly on the fence. Admittedly it's the Buckingham Palace fence. But ouch it's starting to hurt.
Originally published as My cringe-worthy encounter with Meghan Markle