Nearly D-Day for B-A-B-Y
AS MY clothes grow smaller, my waddle grows more obvious and my ice cube cravings intensify, I know it means just one thing - D-day is looming.
As the due date on what will (touch wood) be my final pregnancy inches closer, it is interesting to reflect on how my viewpoint and attitude has changed this time.
Firstly, if this kid were to arrive tomorrow, we would all be in trouble. With a first pregnancy it seems the minute you see those two lines, you have amassed a shipping container full of every baby item ever made.
Not only do you stockpile essentials like onesies, blankets and singlets but you also don't bat an eyelid when flicking over the price tag on that ridiculously expensive pair of leather baby shoes - because three months old do so much walking, right?
The excitement of that first baby makes you do - and buy - some crazy things and your fully furnished nursery sits idle before your belly even has a chance to pop out.
Third time around, not so much. With less than five weeks until my baby is due, I am far from prepared.
I was just about to boast that my stroller is fully assembled - with no male help, thank you very much - but then I remembered I have somehow put a brake on one of the wheels and undoing that is beyond the realms of my expertise.
The hammock my child will sleep in for the first few months of her (or so they tell me) life has still not been assembled and her partially prepared drawers are strewn across the nursery floor.
The beautiful sleigh cot she will eventually sleep in is assembled - but admittedly is jam-packed with baby clothes, blankets, toys and towels that cannot yet be put in the incomplete drawers.
And if that isn't bad enough, we aren't even close to picking a name for this child.
Once you have done this baby thing once or twice, you come to realise that no matter how prepared you are, stuff you don't expect will always happen.
And there is nothing you can do about it, so just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Despite the common first parent fears, odds are you won't kill or maim your baby through unpreparedness and any dilemmas will work out in the end.
In the meantime though, feel free to email me your baby name suggestions and offer your baby furniture assembling skills because I think I should get just a little more prepared - just to be on the safe side.