WATERCOOLER: Okay to have sex in the same room as kids?

A WOMAN has sparked a furious online debate after she asked a forum if she should confront a friend who has admitted to having sex in the same room as her children.

The anonymous poster wrote on Netmums that she is "disturbed" her friend is having sex with her husband with their eight and 10-year-old in the room.

"For various reasons they need to share the same room for a few months and so this situation won't change for a while yet," she wrote.

"They do have a living room so I can't understand why they don't have sex there before they go to bed."

The poster said she has been "increasingly disturbed" since her friend told her but her friend insists there is nothing wrong with it. 

"My friend says it's fine - they make sure the children are asleep but I am not certain that you can be sure or that they won't wake up and lie there wondering what is happening.

"She says it is no different to the third world countries where families all share one room which I guess is true.

"However I feel really uncomfortable since I found this out because of the age of the kids (but I am someone who could never even relax to do it with a baby in the room!)."

The poster then asked commenters if she should say something to her friend and whether it is "normal".

"Part of me feels I should say something but I am a pretty chilled out person and never really get involved in judging what other people do so the other part of me thinks that it is none of my business, and maybe something that is okay for some people.

"Is it normal in the circumstances (that they are having to share a room) and what should I say, if anything?"

One commenter called Natalie said: "It's not right in my opinion, but it's not really any of your business either."

Another named Kay said: "I think its okay when you have young children to do that but older ones no way its not right."

Jade agreed with Kay: "Both their kids are way to old, not babies and they have another room away from the bedroom...if one of these kids was to go into school and mention something to a teacher, social services may be contacted."

Emma said: "Would think the 10 yr old, knows they have sex anyway. Most primary schools start education around that age. As long as they are being quiet, I don't really see the problem."

But Kim disagreed labeling it "child abuse".

"I think its totally wrong. It's bordering on child abuse and social services would not be pleased. Sexual activity in the presence of a child is an offence...there's absolutely no need to do it in the same room so the fact they do is just disgusting."

The Daily Mail reports psychologist Emma Kenny told FEMAIL that having sex with children in the room is a parent's judgement call.

"With younger kids and babies I think a lot of people have sex in the same room as children," Ms Kenny said.

"When it comes to children of eight and 10 it's a judgment call for parents as to whether they truly believe the children are asleep.

"Children do learn that parents love each other and I think we should bring children up without a sense of shame and the knowledge that in grown up relationships there is intimacy.

"Having said that you don't want to upset them and it's best to keep personal intimacy separate to them. It's not something they can quite understand at that point.

"But would I be negative and criticise the parents being discussed in this post? No, I think they sound like loving parents trying to manage a difficult situation.They're not purposefully doing any damage," Ms Kenny said. 



What you're saying on Facebook:

Ash Cunningham: "How is this even a debate??? Kids a peeper creepers."

Sue Rush: "Why would you want to?"

Sarah Naumann: "Absolutely wrong."

Cynthia Hayward Ernst: "No way."

Tamara Appleby: "If they are a baby and are asleep I dont see why not. Otherwise I wouldn't be."

Shannan Hunter Kobi: "Urhhhhhh are you serious! No its not ok! That's disgusting! Obviously if they are newborn than yes but thats it."

Scott Jackson: "It'd be a little awkward if they were like 15 or something lol. If it's a newborn it wouldn't matter really but I don't think I'd be too keen it just wouldn't feel right."

Kelly Brennan: "Wrong as if they see it they will try it."

Colleen Duffy: "Don't even go there WRONG."

Donna Caesar: "I never could, what if they woke up?"

Gemma Heathcote: "No way!"

Georgina Pukallus: "Wrong."

Gig guide: what's on this weekend

Gig guide: what's on this weekend

There's so much great live music on.

Tweed not ready for Commonwealth Games

Tweed not ready for Commonwealth Games

"We've missed the boat.”

New rubbish pick-up: 'Complicated and farcical'

New rubbish pick-up: 'Complicated and farcical'

Residents are up in arms over new rubbish service

Local Partners