What's really going on inside Parliament?
ONCE upon a time, deep in the heart of Queensland's Parliament House, some members were getting ready to go to bed after a long day of sitting and discussing state matters.
Katter's Australian Party MPs Robbie Katter and Shane Knuth, Independent Rob Pyne and One Nation MP Steve Dickson were having a secret (not so secret) meeting about how best to block the State Budget.
"I think if we stand in a line, like this, and cross our arms, we can block it that way,” one said.
"No, no! Haven't you been watching the netballers train lately? You have to follow the Budget around and keep it out of the goal circle that Annastacia Palaszczuk is standing in - that's the best way to make it work,” another said.
"Do we need another goal keeper in this situation? Maybe the Member for Cook?”
"NO!” was the resounding reply. "He wouldn't play with us last year, so he's on his own.”
As the others discussed possibilities, Mr Dickson's mind turned to his fearless leader. She had lambasted a couple of rogue WA One Nation members for not falling into line.
They were unhappy over a preference deal with the Liberals in the state's lower house. But the message from the Great One was simple. Follow her highway, or find another road as an independent.
Pauline Hanson has her eyes on the prize - the throne in Canberra. And she has quite the plan for the country if she wins power. It seems she has been listening to a bit of Kanye West because she wants pre-nups, yeah, she wants pre-nups, for all newlyweds, along with a flat 2% tax rate for all and limiting migration.
Back in the room, there was a moment of silence as the group contemplated its blocking plan. The quiet was pierced, however, by a gasp and sobbing coming from Stirling Hinchliffe's room.
The crew rushed to the door. Inside the room, at Mr Hinchliffe's feet, was a broken and graffitied model train set.
"Look, look at what someone has done,” Mr Hinchliffe cried. "That graffiti is so offensive.”
"And they've taken all my drivers to boot!”
Written in black magic marker on the broken train set: Labor's going down at the next election.
The group tried to console him despite their scheming in the room next door.
"There, there,” one said. "Wicked messages on vehicles are illegal now. Don't worry, Jackie Trad will fix it.”